Human Condition and Needs
Humans are irrational. The brain relies on different inputs to function as intended and to be in harmony with its environment. These inputs can be found in Maslow's pyramid of basic needs (water, sleep, food, social relationships, etc.). If you find yourself lacking in any of these dimensions, you will be more likely to rely on your basic instincts and heuristics. This can also lead to feeling like a misfit in your social and work environments due to heightened levels of stress.
Acknowledging a poor state of mind is hard, similar to refusing to go back to level 1 in a computer game when you have already reached level 5. However, to gain control over your brain and thoughts, it's best to occasionally revisit level 1 of your basic needs pyramid and prioritize hydration, sleep, and refueling on food before attempting to solve problems or resolve conflicts.
The biggest signal of control is remaining unfazed when confronted with unexpected conflicts or escalations. You must learn to recognize that your immediate reaction is likely influenced by your human heuristics and primitive reactions. If you feel that the situation demands an extreme reaction, try to take a step back and give yourself time to reassess the situation (unless there is immediate danger).