Relationships are great motivators
I met my wife when I began to view relationships as a bonus, not a necessity, in my life. I firmly believe that before you can find an excellent partner, you need to evolve into a version of yourself that is great without needing a partner.
On the other hand, I've also come to understand that my relationship allows me to be more productive and helps me improve myself.
I started mapping my habits and routines to happiness hormones and their influence on my motivation. Let me quickly list out the hormones I remember (not scientifically 100% accurate)
- Endorphin is the hormone that is released when you're under stress and your body needs to keep you motivated to continue. The "runner's high" is a frequently cited example of this hormone because it makes physical activity genuinely engaging. I try to maximize my endorphin levels by doing sports as often as possible.
- Dopamine is a double-edged sword that fuels most of our motivation. Food, money, drugs — all these rewards are linked to dopamine. Our bodies release dopamine when we perceive something as rewarding. This can also lead to addiction because dopamine can make you do things that aren't necessarily good for you. I try to get my dopamine from working, reading, and other positive habits. However, activities like watching Netflix and attending parties also contribute.
- Lastly, serotonin is released when we are kind to others and meet our social needs. It's a powerful hormone that encourages humans to stay and act together.
In my relationship, it motivates me to cook, clean, and genuinely care for my wife. This, in turn, helps me focus better, be more productive, and work on things that matter to me. With my social needs taken care of, I can work and sleep better, thereby improving my overall quality of life.